Times are tough & we could all use some humor. This is a non-partisan (hence, not pro-or anti-Obama per se, but open to anyone) attempt at such humor, aiming to make a world-famous 'ObamaFacts' website and movement much like the 'ChuckNorris Facts' phenomonon that happened in 2006.
ObamaFacts are fictitious, greatly exaggerated 'facts' about how powerful and charismatic Obama is. Basically, if you can think of a funny Obama Fact , please feel free to send it to me so i can add it. I want this to be global and eventually discussed on Letterman and Fox News, perhaps with Obama himself reading off his favorites (as Chuck Norris did with his facts).
Here's some 'facts' I cooked up, but I wanna get 'em pouring in by the dozen w/your help. Here's a start.
TOP OBAMA FACTS:
1. Barack Obama can solve a rubrics cube with a “Yes, we can!” speech.
2. Obama visits Narnia once a month just to ensure that underrepresented Fawns have affordable housing and adequate healthcare.
3. Every time Barack Obama smiles a Fox News anchor's head explodes..
4. The Barack Obama campaign doesn’t get hate-mailed; hate-mail gets Barak Obama-campaigned
5. The sound of one-hand clapping is a Barack Obama speech
Obama is so in touch with all classes of Americans that he drives a Porsche half way to work and then panhandles for a bus ticket just to make it the rest of the way.
Barack Obama is actually the 4th person in the Trinity; he's just too humble to admit it.
Barack Obama doesn’t cross partisan lines; he makes them into a unilateral hexagon and then demolishes them.
Barack Obama can completely unite the abortion debate; he just hasn’t updated his website yet.
Barack Obama doesn’t solve problems; he inspires them to solve themselves
In the spirit of Dwight Schrute, Barack Obama raises the budget just so he can lower it.
The Terminator was actually sent to kill Barack Obama; 'John Conner' is just a typo in its program
Barack Obama can solve the financial crisis with wishful thinking
King Solomon wore a Barack Obama t-shirt
The reason aliens haven’t invaded this planet yet is because Barack Obama has already entered into diplomatic negotiations with them
Barack Obama is building a time machine in his campaign basement so he can bring the troops home in November of 2004
The Red Sea was parted only when Barack Obama convinced the laws of gravity and water to temporarily set aside their differences.
Barack Obama gives Red Bull energy when he drinks it.
Barack Obama’s heart doesn’t bleed-it shoots out pure concentrated bolts of real change.
Obama recently rallied a crowd of angry Tree-Ents at a Fangorn Forrest Town Hall meeting with a 'Yes, we can' speech; neither Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Neil Boortz, Michael Savage nor Mark Levin have denied the existence of man-made global warming ever since
Money doesn’t grow on trees; money grows on Barak Obama
When your wife has an orgasm it is only because she's thinking about Barack Obama and the real change he will bring to America.
Jesus wore an Obama campaign pin on his tunic.
Barack Obama can have his cake and eat it...and have enough left over to alleviate world hunger.
Barack Obama is so in touch with Real America that he sleeps on the roof of the capital building each night with a 24-Ounce and a Salvation Army sleeping bag
Barack Obama was originally sent as an infant to deliver the Hebrews from Egyptian bondage; Moses only got stuck with the task when a rip tide in the Nile river caused their baskets to get switched
The Mayans ended their apocalyptic calendar in 2012 once they saw the possibility of Obama serving only 1 presidential term
Barack Obama once said "I want real change from this vending machine" and it emptied itself on the spot.
Barack Obama drives his car in 2 lanes at once because he always transcends both sides.
The Book of Obama was left out of the Bible by the early Church because there was no Greek translation for 'Yes, we can!‘
When Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee in 2007, he...well, lets not push Chuck Norris. Never mind.
Obama can turn Pat Robertson into a secular atheist and Richard Dawkins into a fundamentalist Christian in the exact same speech
Obama has a plan to bring every middle-class American a 15-hr work week by drastically speeding up the earth's orbit around the sun between the hours of 9-5
Obama keeps recession in check by shitting golden bouillon bars directly onto the floor of the Federal Reserve
As part of his journey of self discovery, Obama pays reparations to himself once a year
Al Sharpton secretly masturbates to Barack Obama's You Tube speeches
If Sarah Palin ever tries to drill into Anwar, Obama will summon the Tree Ents.
The actual reason Sadaam was so egotistical is because he shared the name 'Hussein' with Barack Obama
Every time Barack answers a tough question a college student blows an Obamagasm into his trousers
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